Love is in the air Sexy SGirl Xplores relationships A New Way to Catch the Love Bug!
By Kimberly D. Goodyear
Spring is in the air and love is coming into bloom – or is it? In the midst of all the lovesick couples who seem to find each other against all odds on those televised dating services, how much do they really ring true? Do you feel like you’re always the one who’s left holding the stale candy and dead flowers from last Valentine’s Day? What does it take these days to find someone worth holding onto for more than one night? And once you find him, what does it take to keep the relationship healthy and thriving? Although some swear that its luck, others are ready to take that unpredictable little theory and tear it to shreds! Counting on destiny to put you in the right place at the right time is ludicrous and relying on friends for a hook-up or blind date is about as productive as spitting into the wind! You would never ask a friend to dress you for a date, so why would you let them select your “ideal” mate? The first thing one should do if they find themselves in this type of situation is to relax. Have you ever heard the expression, “haste makes waste?” Well, it’s true! What you don’t want to do is to slip into another relationship. This would most likely be referred to as the rebound and those never last! If you’re experiencing a dry spell, or even if you’re just in between relationships, it’s always good to have a time out and re-group. This down time is healthy when in between relationships, and will help you evaluate what you’ve experienced, what the relationship lacked, and what you will be looking for in the next relationship you encounter! Take the time to re-kindle an old friendship, or just call up the girls for a fun night with no worries about when you should walk through the front door! When the time or person is right, it will happen. In the meantime, re-evaluate what it is that you find important in a man. Is it a nice body and killer ride that peaks your interest, or does it go much deeper that that? It’s important to re-evaluate your checklist because you might find that your standards or priorities may have changed between then and now. For example, that nice body and fun way he’d call for last minute plans may have very well been the important factors that lead to your steamy romance, but you were 22 then. Maybe you’re almost 30 now and life is beginning to look a little different in the big scheme of things! Do you plan on having children? While most men don’t worry much about it, it’s our job (as women) to do just that! Our window of opportunity grows smaller as the years go by and many times becomes the reason for the big break-up in the first place! Time to get a real job, a real man, and live “real” life! Many times the men in our lives aren’t ready for a big commitment such as marriage or having children, but most women are all too aware of that mega-sized biological clock that ticks incessantly inside us, and bringing forth that need to find that perfect man! And once you’ve mastered being single once more and you’re ready to take on the world, what do you do? Most people now days go to a dating service which is not a bad idea, but warrants one to keep in mind that just because you both like baseball and ice-cream, doesn’t mean you’ll be good in the chemistry department! And while it is possible to find a connection with a dating service, it will be a lot of trial and error. “I was really disappointed with the matches that they set me up with,” Candy M. confessed. “It seemed to me like they weren’t very serious about a relationship and only interested in desert (wink-wink), before the menus were even brought out, which was really a big waste of my time! I’m at a time in my life to where I really need to cut the crap, but all I got was a lot of last minute plan cancellations, bad manors or guys who weren’t interested in someone with children; even though they said they were in their profiles!” And along with Candy’s experience, Donna J. had much of the same. “I wouldn’t say that it’s impossible to meet people on these dating services, because I have met a lot of nice people, but just like anything, our personalities were too different and we agreed to move on. There were however, a few men that I was a little disappointed with. Some of them were bums, having no stable job, and it was obvious to me that they were only looking for a good time. Those dates were definitely cut short!” Donna laughs, rolling her eyes back. But with all of the difficulties in finding a mate, there are other places that work just as good if not better, and are much easier on the pocketbook! “I met my boyfriend at a garden center,” Jill E. reminisces. “I was there one late spring afternoon, looking for some perennials for my flower beds and he came over to help me. He was watering the plants and when one of his co-workers called on him with a question, he turned and soaked me with the hose! Needless to say, he asked to take me to dinner to make it up and we’ve been together since then. That was a year and a half ago!” Jill beams as she holds up her hand, pointing to a diamond ring! Another popular way to date is by using party phone lines that are also widely advertised on late night television, geared to appeal to the “lonely” man. This is where a horde of single people will try to speak over one another in the hopes of finding a date or just a casual hook-up! The funny thing is, is that the commercials are designed to play upon the weaknesses of the typical man. It isn’t that they aren’t looking for more realistic values in a woman, but that it’s in their genes to be attracted to visuals, to where a woman might be more inclined to notice the eyes, the height, or even the personality in a possible mate. Scantily clad “models” are shown talking on the phone, having a seemingly wonderful time while hooking up. Is it really that easy one might ask? What do you think? To the unsuspecting single on the other line, they might very well be speaking with someone who weighs 500 lbs, who’s in the middle of ironing with a baby on her hip! Laugh if you must but this is an old hook line and sinker way to make a fast buck by using people who are adeptly skilled at sounding like a young, hot thing and keep you on the line for as long as possible! Although many of the latest dating trends may seem disheartening, don’t lose hope just yet! There are still lots of tried and true methods to finding love, with body language playing a huge part in the game as well! For example; if you notice someone watching you from across the grocery store, the church hall, the doctors office, and they approach you? Pay attention to how receive this person. Are you standing with your arms closed? Are your eyes shifting back and forth, hindering eye contact? How might this look to the interested party? Now try seeing yourself with a smile and bright eyes, making good eye contact while you speak? Which way seems friendlier, or more approachable? Another good rule of thumb is to always leave the house looking like you’re expecting to run into someone. It is usually Murphy’s Law, that when you aren’t expecting to see anyone, you will! Mind you, if its morning and you’re dropping the kids off at school, there’s no need to do full hair and make-up unless you’re heading straight for the office afterwards, but if you’re going back home, then a swipe of lipstick, some sun glasses, and running a brush through your hair never hurt anyone! Another good way to find someone is by making yourself available. Even if it’s just coffee with a friend, make yourself seen to the public! You never know who might be asking to borrow your creamer!
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